Well my sons team had a great game tonight and won😎 The Fab Fit Fun Spring Ad ons were up for me to view and choose from today. Looking forward to the spring box. Enjoyed some tasty pizza 🍕 and garlic knots with the kids before the game . My husband made it home safely 🙏 I got to watch Beverly Hills Housewives love the drama those ladies bring.
I have dance class tomorrow solo since my husband had to go without me last week while I was sick. But we go together Thursday. I was able to see three friends today my dear friend Carol, Sara, Chelsea. I have to admit I never got around to exercising but I will do better tomorrow . I am getting excited about my sons shadow day this week. So crazy to think he will be in junior high in the Fall. I am hard on him and expect a lot want him to always work to his full potential in all he does . I want to set a good example and do better at taking care of myself and our home and family . I want to be the best wife and mother I can be. I wish I was one of those Super-Moms that has everything done perfectly and has tons of energy to spare.
I get overwhelmed and exhausted 😩 at times and it makes me feel bad. But I know I am making the efforts to be a better cook and keep our house cleaner and super organized and try to keep myself looking presentable. I need to work on getting in better physical shape I think that will also improve my confidence and my energy. I am thinking of having 3 of Brandon’s closest friends over for spend the night on Friday. So I need to get it together so I have energy and can ensure they all have fun😎
I am missing Disneyland so much and having withdrawals. I need to go soon 🙏🙏🙏. I am thankful to have such wonderful family and friends. I don’t know if I can finally get passed my weight plateau this month or not but I am going to try. I get anxiety sometimes and its awful. I want to be in a place in my life where my body does what it should easily and I am strong and capable and have energy and endurance to boot. I want to be able to handle everything life throws at me with ease and grace and like its effortless. But I seem to feel like I have two left feet and clumsy unsure of myself and not strong at all when it comes to my bodies strength.
I used to be proud of my body and very strong with tons of energy and endurance. I feel like now when I need it most mothering two children and doing my best to be a great wife I have none so it’s very frustrating to me and I am so unsure about where I should be for my age and my build. I was always set at a weight for so long and then now I’ve aged so I know I can’t expect to be a zero anymore or even a size two. But I am hoping once I have my physical in a week and get any blood tests etc done that is needed we can see what problems I am having and how to fix them and get them under control.
I do know the more hobbies I take on and activities. They improve my mood and make me feel good about myself which is great for my self-esteem. I mean just getting the Martha and Marley Spoon recipes and food in the mail and seeing that I can cook them rather well. It boosts my confidence in the kitchen. I want my children to look up to me and see me do well in all that I set my mind to. I want to be more relaxed and not stress about so much so I can be 100% present and playful and fun with them. Not just responsible mom that tells them what to do and how to do it and says no.
I want to be the fun mom again. I know my toddler gets to have me as the fun mom. But sometimes I think I am so exhausted from my day with her and the upkeep of house etc that I am not that fun happy mom for my 10-year-old. I feel like I don’t give him all the energy I want to give him. He used to literally get all my undivided attention. Because it was only the two of us from the time he was born until I married my husband in 2014. So its important to me that I get the energy to manage our busy life and schedule and still find plenty of fun time with him not just strict parenting.
Okay time to breathe and get some sleep tonight and reboot for a good tomorrow. Thank you for reading.