Well I called doctors this morning and missed their call while my daughter was upset over lunch. Called back got voicemail have not heard back. I have been stressing out since I saw my result records on Saturday not knowing how to read them and I am not feeling good can’t relax. Have been dealing with a lot since my daughter fell ill Friday and now she’s on the mend but still a little cranky on and off and she has a rash due to medication that doctor said is no big deal and will go away once she is done with it. Met my friend from out-of-town for lunch but Savannah wasn’t doing well so Jeff had to leave with her and I had to have their food boxed up which drives me nuts. But I am happy I got to visit with Cheryl I just hate the situation. I am beyond stressed and I won’t relax until I know my results. I need to leave her home with my husband tonight so I can still see our sons basketball game and that’s frustrating I want us all to see the game. I feel physically and emotionally exhausted and know I need to be on the safe side and keep her home with me tomorrow and possibly Thursday and Friday. That means no break for me which I desperately need no getting things done that our on our calendar and I am in knots all over I feel like I’ve been used as a human piñata. I need to somehow get relaxed because this is not good for me. I truly feel like I am going to faint I was literally in misery last night in pain filled with anxiety and head pounding. I hope they call me back today and that I don’t miss the call. I cannot go another night wondering and not knowing what is going on. I hated seeing my little one not feeling well I am glad she is on the mend but I want her back to 100% and I hope once she is she doesn’t catch anything from another kid. I feel like I am never going to have a time when I can just know I can run errands workout and stuff at home won’t prevent me from being able to do this. I have not been healthy for over 3 years I have not been in good shape for 3 years and I am scared about my health. I should not be having all the symptoms I am and being unable to lose weight when I am eating pretty healthy 80 percent of the time or more and yes we eat out and I have some junk food the other 20% of the time. I feel like I am in a hole I can’t get out of and I want to look forward to things and I wanted to buy a spin bike for home the other day and that did not pan out. I feel like if I don’t have something that convenient I just won’t get in the cardio I need and right now I need it everyday not just when I am able to take her to daycare the 2-3 days a week. I have so much that needs to be done on those days that even then I don’t always get in the workouts I should. It makes me feel like I am failing myself and not juggling things as good as I should. I feel like I did much better juggling work, raising my son and keeping fit and just life in general and I should have an easier time now as I am able to be home and am married but I am older and it actually seems much harder to keep all my ducks in a row. I am 132-136 pounds fluctuate during the month. I was heavy for my size when I was 118 back in fall of 2013. I have seriously let myself go and I feel horrible about the way I look and I feel fatigued I get night sweats I have had dizziness recently and I really want my thyroid and blood results I am so beyond frustrated. I want answers so I can find an answer of what must be done by me to become more healthy and happy again. If I cannot get the answers soon and get on the path to feeling normal I know this is going to drag me down into a deep depression. I don’t want that and I certainly don’t have time to not have the energy and health I need to be a good mom to my kids and good wife to my husband. I am sick of all this stuff with my health and body not making sense. I need answers. I pray that I actually get the answers today.