Been a busy couple of days my sons team won their last basketball game of the season Tuesday night. Wednesday I got in my morning Pure Barre workout and then later my husband and I did our ballroom dance class. I got my Stitch Fix Box in the mail liked all the pieces so kept them all. I finally got my It Works replacement order for the chews that never arrived and I got a wrap to try as well. My son got attacked at school yesterday but was fine and defended himself against the school bully who got suspended. My nails are in desperate need of a manicure but I have not made it to the manicurist. I have a Pure Barre class today at noon. I need to cook one of our yummy Martha & Marley Spoon meals tonight. I picked up all our dry cleaning yesterday but have not been to the grocery store still need to get that done. I need to get the kids new shoes and socks and shorts now that the temps are rising.My son has a little girlfriend and they text all the time its pretty cute. We finally saw the movie Hidden Figures it is a wonderful movie. I was really feeling it in class yesterday these classes usually kill me anyways but after missing 4-5 days you feel like it your back to your first class. My face looks horrible during class you’d think I was being tortured or giving birth or something so not attractive. I guess I am getting old I am like the least flexible in the class by far and even though I know the other ladies are feeling sore they seem to manage better than me at least for now. I need to keep going and I will get stronger again. I miss being the best in class the one in great shape now I am the old one , the out of shape and sore trying to keep up with everyone. Its pretty depressing how far gone my body has gone sometimes I am so depressed about it I don’t want to get out of bed. I don’t feel attractive anymore and I feel like its going to take forever to get even close to what my body once was. But I know I need to push through get up and realize yes its embarrassing to not be in shape in a room full of women who are in great shape. Yes the young instructor often looks at me like old lady get with it. But I need to realize I was young once and hopefully I was not throwing looks at those older than me or that were in my current position depressed out of shape and struggling. Its aggravating because last night I was able to get in a dress that is a size 0 and it only felt tight around my shoulders and arm pit area. So its hard for me when people see me they expect a lot more from me than my body can do right now. Yes I am petite but I am nearly 20 pounds overweight have almost zero muscle tone after letting myself go after having my daughter and I have to especially work on treating the Diastasis Recti which I should have worked on right after Savannah was born. My stomach went right back to original form after having my son but I was much younger and my second C -Section did my body in. My husband and I are going on a Cruise the week after our anniversary. I was hoping to have lost 10 pounds by then but doubt I will but maybe I can get under 130. I am anxiously awaiting the letter in the mail to see if my son was accepted to Sacred Heart School. Today marks one year that sweet Desi went to heaven she is such a beautiful person inside and out and she touched so many lives and she will forever be in my heart forever. I am so blessed to have such amazing children and a wonderful husband. I want to be the best example for my children and that is why even when I feel so bad about myself and so depressed. I need to get up and take action and fix my situation and show them they should never give up and there is always a ray of sunshine. I want to show them how to cook and eat healthy how important exercise and staying active is. That just because they will get to enjoy being thin and eating whatever they want without gaining an ounce most of their lives they will reach a point when your body gains weight just by looking or thinking about food. At least that is how I feel now when I hit 35 my body gave me a huge wake up call. I was not prepared I was so used to being able to do minimal exercise and look fantastic. Eat whatever I wanted and not ever gain much weight. I set myself up for this rude awakening because I was so used to it being easy. Then I did slow down when I had my children more so before my daughter and after. But I know now I have to be active everyday and I have to eat 90% healthy and only 10% cheat foods. Or I will be overweight and in this position I am trying to get out of now.I was able to find my daughter some adorable frozen sandals at payless today. She will really like those. I also got her some eczema bath products and creams to help with her skin. I did finally get my manicure after having lunch with my husband. I still need to get the kids shorts and my son needs socks. I want to order their Easter baskets this week as well and tuck those away. Tomorrow I am so looking forward to a wonderful day with my best friend Sara. Then tomorrow night my husband and I are going to see Duran Duran in concert. I am still awaiting the arrival of my Fabletics outfit and my Spring Fab Fit Fun Box to arrive. I also ordered a cute workout tank that should be arriving next week. I need to find a bathing suit for our trip. I want to be able to get a bikini wax and tan before the trip but not sure with timing if I will have the money. I will be getting my husband Anniversary stuff this week or weekend so that I have it in plenty of time. I am sore from my workout today. But I am glad I got in a good workout today. Almost time for me to start cooking dinner.