Getting my house clean laundry is going cleaning floors then on go dishes, mirrors, beds and kitchen and bathrooms. Had my coffee but only $1 left on card so not sure 🤔 if I will get coffee this weekend. Put my waist trainer on at 8:00am will see how long I can last in it today. My sons school pictures turned out nice I need to buy three sheets and return the rest. Feel depressed and alone my body is a far cry from what it once was. I wish I could talk to my husband but he doesn’t like it when I share my feelings with him. I am proud of myself for making it through all my Pure Barre classes . I wish the instructors were more positive and motivating like my yoga instructors always were. Everyone is at different levels and I struggle to make it through and wish sometimes I had someone tell me good job for coming each day powering through and doing the best I can. My self esteem feels like a zero when it’s hard for me I feel so insecure. Seeing the way my stomach looks is hard for me as well. Realizing with each exercise how badly out of shape I am makes me want to cry. I want to be beautiful for me but I want my husband to be proud to call me his wife and my kids look up to me. I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to be out of shape. I want strength I want endurance. I love my husband and kids with all my heart ❤️. I just want them to support me while I am working towards my health and fitness goals. It’s our three year wedding anniversary on Tuesday. We’ve been together six years in May. I am hoping to have a great weekend with my husband and our little girl Savannah while our son is out of town with my Dad this weekend. I am going to cook another Martha & Marley Spoon recipe tonight and then no more until new box arrives on Tuesday. The kids Easter items should arrive on Tuesday and looks like my Adore Me order will arrive tomorrow or Monday. I still need to find a great Anniversary card for my husband and get his gift. I need to go to the grocery store but need to wait until we have the money. Hopefully next week I can get grocery items and make hair appointment. I would like to get a bikini wax and tan before we leave on our cruise if I have money to do so. My doggy seems better today yesterday he did not feel good. I am so happy that I am feeling muscles develop in my calves and thighs, butt and arms. I have not lost any weight but I imagine it’s because I am gaining muscle right now. I need to add cardio to my daily routine but I am so happy I am working on strengthening my body. I get to have lunch with my friends today so excited for adult time. I wish I got time with the girls everyday because it’s the only time I get to converse and be an adult express my feelings and thoughts. Happy to know Savannah is doing great at daycare and could handle going four or five days a week. I just don’t want to put more stress on my husband so probably best to stick with three days until fall. My husband works very hard for our family and I appreciate all he does. He is also working on getting his Dad’s house remodeled so we can live there until it can be sold. I hope we are able to own our own home before Brandon gets out of junior high. It will be such a wonderful feeling to live in a home that is truly ours forever. I am hoping my husband will be able to start doing his swimming and biking again. He really enjoys both and used to sign up for swim and bike events. It would be wonderful for me and the kids to see him compete again and cheer him on. I am also hoping he will get his test date soon and pass his test for real estate license. I have had mine since 1998 I need to get my brokers license in the near future. I can’t believe it’s been 20 years since I graduated high school in June. I hope we can start taking the kids on trips. I took Brandon to Chicago/ Wisconsin when he was 3 turning 4 and he’s never been on another plane trip since and he hasn’t been on a cruise yet. I’d love to take the kids on a Disney cruise and on a beaches vacation. I also want them to meet all the family back east so take a trip there. I want to get my daughter potty trained asap. I want to get kids bedrooms fully decorated once house is done. I am so happy our son will be attending Sacred Heart School in the fall for junior high. I hope my husbands eldest daughter will accept our offer to send her and her fiancé on their dream honeymoon. I really feel positive and hopeful that things will workout. It’s just a lot on our plate and it’s easy to be unsure and stressed. I hope everyone has a great Friday stay tuned.