Less than two hours sleep on a sleeping pill. Been exhausted all weekend and no relaxation or sleep in sight. No time for me had to cancel my Pure Barre after being unable to go all weekend this morning was my last paid day. Guess no workouts this whole week or next week while we’re gone. Every time I do good with exercise I get kicked in the gut by life and shown I am last priority. I also am out of Starbucks $ as of yesterday no coffee for mommy this morning I get to lie awake next to sleeping toddler. This is so depressing I am truly at my wits end and I feel sick to my stomach. I am not ready for the day I just know it’s going to be rough. I want to actually be able to take an hour for me each day go to workout at Pure Barre or do fit in 42 but I just never am gonna get that luxury. I feel so awful looking the way I do and feel trapped that I cannot fix it because every time I plan a workout this happens and if I was already in shape I might have it in me to still get a good workout in. But because I am struggling to get to a good physical place this is impossible. I got horrible news Saturday and have not had any tube to wrap my head around it feel my emotions escape for even half hour or hour to de compress it’s just not in the cRds and I am losing hope.