September 6, 2017

Haven’t been feeling well and did  not sleep much at all. Even though my daughter has just been on a trip it’s killing me to be away from her. My kids are my world my whole heart my oxygen I don’t know what I’d ever do without them. 

I make my kids and husband the center of my world and put their needs first and even though I am a stay at home mom who doesn’t ever feel I get the credit of working as hard as I do. 

I feel bad that moms don’t get treated as an equal when their job never ends its 24/7 7 days a week 365 days a year. Even family vacations are great but moms usually working round the clock to keep everyone happy to coordinate plans to make sure everyone has what they need and plan ahead for next days. 

I love being a mom and am so blessed to have two amazing children. I raised my son completely in my own as only parent from 2006 when he was born until I got married in 2014. I worked my tail off in everyday and I made choices to make my schedule around my sons which meant I didn’t always have best paying jobs but I was happy and not missing a moment of his childhood. 

I want every moment of my daughters childhood for her to have me at every school event every sporting or dance event to snuggle with and to support her through everything. 

I am also truly blessed that my kids have an incredible unshakable bond and love each other so deeply. It melts my heart I love to see their love for one another.

Everything I do is for my wonderful kids I love my life with my family at the top of my priority list. I strive to be better and do better and learn more each day. 

I think my health has been taking a toll on me last few months because of all that’s on my plate dealing with Cancer of my aunt dealing with my parents marital issues they just can’t get on same page and love each other enough to do so. Their stubborn natures have made it so they are at a stand still and unable to relax and retire which is long overdue. 

Theirs constant issues at my husbands work I get so stressed seeing him stressed and when he says it will be the death of him or saying his sister will be the death of him. We don’t ever know when we will have him home and when we do he’s always got his mind on work or is getting calls about new issues that everyone passes to him to handle because as he says they are incapable. He needs to be able to count on the employees and know when he’s away they are equipped to deal with everything and don’t need him. 

I don’t like secrets I like to be transparent and it’s so hard understanding someone who tries to project a perfect image not being open about everything hiding things trying to control everything and worried about how people view them. 

I to a degree care what people think but I hope everyone sees me for me and not a facade. I will stumble make mistakes fall on my face and look like a idiot sometimes. I am only human but when I love it’s real it’s whole heartedly my loyalty knows no limits and my kindness is abundant. 

There have been people throughout my life since I was a child that have tried to steal my joy. Tell me I am less than tear me down call names tease me make fun of me. But I know as much as I am flawed I am exactly whom God intended me to be I am unique and I will sometimes let these people bring me down. But deep down I know I will always land on my feet I will always meet my goals. I don’t give up I love that about myself even when it’s dark I see the light.

I am an eternal optimist and I will always make it through the storm. I do hope and pray that in my life I have more people who are positive kind and loyal. I am so grateful for those loving and loyal people I do have who wish me well and speak nice words and don’t tear me down and love me unconditionally as I love them.

I pray for energy to get through my day and I hope God blesses each and everyone’s life today and that everyone can see the joy and blessings they have been blessed with. 

Wishing you all a great day please pray for me today as things have had me feeling on egg shells and fearful and I just want love and peace and my whole family strong happy and together.


Published by 40fitmom

My Name is Jennifer .I was born and raised in California.I am the proud mother of two incredible children Brandon and Savannah.I enjoy trying new things,Outdoor adventures,new recipes, and travel, just to name a few.I hope to encourage others to try new things! I strive to learn as much as possible. I am on a journey to be my best self. Working out more drinking half my body weight in water. Meditating and journaling to find inner peace. I am working on my self esteem and have lots of goals I’m working towards. I cherish my family and friends and never take a single moment for granted.

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