January 20, 2018

Didn’t get much sleep at all and today was a long day for sure. Enjoyed time with kids but Savannah was cranky on and off most the day and had more fits.

We had lots to get done but didn’t get most of it done because of moods . We did get our dog to the Vet but they took over 40 minutes after our appointment time to see the doctor and we ended up there for two hours.

But Charly got his wellness checkup his shots and turned out he had an ear infection in one ear that put out bill to nearly $300. We need to bring him back in a week and then again in three weeks to have him checked out.

Got dinner going for kids and then cleaned up and started getting us cleaned up for bed. Savannah went pee in the potty again before bed. I’m proud of her hoping she starts to go all the time soon potty training is seeming to take forever with her.

My sons grades are very good right now but I just want him to be much better with taking care of his dog and keeping up with the light chores we give him. The other day when I rearranged Brandon’s room it was in such poor condition.

I want our kids to respect our house their stuff our stuff and take good care of what they are blessed with. Today was a colder day and windy but I am glad we still had some outdoor playtime. The kids need time outside.

My sweet girl laid down with me and fell asleep so sweetly again. Gonna lay her peacefully in her bed soon. I have had so much junk and a lot from other people venting to me dumping their problems on me. It’s way too much to deal with sometimes because I am a good listener and caring people just utilize me as their therapy .

It’s really annoying when others are so wrapped up in their issues that they put them on others and do not care about them or what is going on in their life. I also find it to be horrible when you seem someone who is so miserable that that’s what they wish on everyone and they cannot stand those who are happy because the jealousy is eating them alive.

Watched Girl on the Train movie again tonight haven’t seen that in awhile but perfect example of people are not always what they seem nor are their lives it’s easy for any of us as outsiders looking in to think someone else has it all.

When in actuality they could be truly sad or suffering. I work hard to look beyond the surface in all the people I meet and in general. I know that as much as I am an open book and people may think they have me figured out most will never make it below the surface.

A small few can I say have truly known me deeply every layer of who I am. I have so many things I still long to achieve and places to travel. I want to teach my kids so much and make a million more memories with them.

So many plans of adventures for Jeff and I to enjoy together. Picturing my future it’s wide open and so much to be enjoyed and accomplished. I think when I see people just throw their hands up stop having goals and dreams stop taking accountability and blaming others and or expecting others to take care of them financially when they are fully capable and just not doing work on themselves their life etc. it makes me sad makes me feel sorry for them but also for those that they encroach on I have been seeing my parents so in need of retirement and stressed and they don’t need to at this point on their life be taking care of anyone else they need to retire and enjoy life together.

I pray everyday that they will retire sometime this year and take time to truly simplify and enjoy travel have fun with friends and family enjoy hobbies. They have worked hard my whole life and long before I was born I want to see them take it easy.

I never want to be in the same situation their in at their age. My husband is already taking way more than our family of four on his shoulders. He is getting burnt out and has had to be back and forth between here and June Lake like a ping pong ball.

He needs to be in a position where he has full faith in whom ever is managing motel and they can do all tasks that a manager should do as well as what’s needed there which is also running a loader fixing minor things as a handyman reliable and hard working honest. Otherwise it’s better we just figure it being open From fishing season until November then shutdown for winter.

My husband shouldn’t feel like he is doing all the work but paying people who don’t just because he feels obligation to keep them supported. To me it feels like my husband is paying out to those that want to forever be taken care of by him and do little or no work.

I have learned that concentrating on me and only striving to do my best and better than I did the day week or month or year before no matter if it’s fitness, cooking, hosting gatherings, parenting, being a good friend, great wife etc.

For instance when I started at Pure Barre my daughter was about a year and a half and I was still out of shape. My self esteem was low mainly because I hadn’t bounced back like after having my son.

When I was having a hard time doing a lot and saw women of all ages killing it it made me feel so horrible and weak, I felt really insecure and felt one of the instructors just did not like me and I felt like she was judging me which made me feel so much worse.

I cried nearly every time I took the class not their but when I went home until I finally realized I was so concerned with others comparing my body my strength my looks to them. I was in my head and I needed to mentally snap out of it. I loved Pure Barre I was getting stronger I was gaining the ability to do most everything we needed to.

When I started to let go and only strive to better my self not get back in a certain size or a certain weight. I became stronger inside and out. I have so far to go still. But going to class is happiness for me. I enjoy all the people their and the instructors have motivated me to push myself so I am so grateful for all of them.

I have been planning out weekly menus as well and feel that with that and other home organize tactics I am feeling like I have it more together as a wife and mother. I still want to make my children and husband proud of me and hope they feel loved and love me back and are happy they have me. But I know o need to. We proud of me and love me and take time for me.

I need a good full nights sleep tonight. My son has voulenteer hours tomorrow and I have lots of stuff for my dad to take to those who need it. We have four bags full after cleaning out Brandon’s room.

Tomorrow is also my moms Birthday and we got her some nice gifts and a card and three nice photos of Savannah from pony day. I am hoping to travel much more this year and beyond. I also want to attend baking courses I so loved my culinary courses I took a few years back.

Hoping my husband comes home soon we miss him. Well time to get some sleep. Good night and hope everyone is enjoying your weekend 🙏😊🏡🐶💤

Published by 40fitmom

My Name is Jennifer .I was born and raised in California.I am the proud mother of two incredible children Brandon and Savannah.I enjoy trying new things,Outdoor adventures,new recipes, and travel, just to name a few.I hope to encourage others to try new things! I strive to learn as much as possible. I am on a journey to be my best self. Working out more drinking half my body weight in water. Meditating and journaling to find inner peace. I am working on my self esteem and have lots of goals I’m working towards. I cherish my family and friends and never take a single moment for granted.

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