February 23, 2018

This morning I woke myself up from a scary dream it’s nice when your actually able to do that and not continue the bad dream.

My daughter slept in my son was up getting ready. We got out of the house even a little early and I dropped my son off first then my daughter. I am hoping they are both having a great day today.

It’s very cold and windy today but I got myself to my 8:30am Pure Empower class. It was a wonderful workout by Mandy.

It was nice to see happy smiling faces in class and I was getting killed but in a good way.

I stopped by Starbucks and got myself a Grande Mocha Frappuccino with and extra shot. I was given the grade breakdown. For honors and gold leaf this morning.

It seems my son has never been below honors even at his worst GPA so it seems I well both my husband and I have been overly hard on Brandon. Also since the way they grade at his school is so much harder he-would essentially be doing twice as good in a regular school as far as GPA.

I’m glad he’s doing well! I’m glad I am hard on him I want to push him to be his absolute best and make sure he has prepared himself to handle anything that comes his way in life and achieve all his goals and dreams.

My kids make me want to do better be stronger work harder push myself to the limits everyday. I am so grateful to have them they are my whole heart and I want to make them proud.

I’m watching Eat Pray Love ❤️ I have not watched this in such a long time. I have been craving travel and adventure so much lately.

My husband has been out of town a lot unfortunately but I enjoy my time with my kids. They are growing up so fast my son is taller than me over s 100 pounds now and nearly a size 10 in shoes.

I want to go back to Italy 🇮🇹 it’s been way too long and my husband has never been. I hope we get a chance to take a couple more adult trips together before too long. I know my parents are getting older and it’s harder on them to watch the kids while we’re away.

I enjoy quiet time on my own and I need it to get myself centered and relaxed in my busy hectic schedule. I hope my children always feel loved and cherished and safe.

I want my kids to see me push myself and go after goals. I don’t want them see me be lazy or give up I want them to see me give my all and even if I don’t quite meet my goals see that I tried my best and never gave up.

I want to explore myself again I want to pay attention to my needs and desires fulfill them go after new goals so my life is full beyond being a mother and wife.

That is most important to me but it’s extremely important I don’t lose myself in it. I am so much more than my children’s mother and my husbands wife.

I am constantly striving to strengthen myself both inside and out. I miss practicing Yoga 🧘‍♀️ id like to start doing it every week again.

It’s amazing to be nearly 40 years old and knowing I still have so much to grow and learn. I want my children to enjoy every phase of their life of their growth and challenges happy and sad times.

Everything in my life has made me who I am today all the hurts, struggles, sadness, obstacles and hardships have strengthened me and shaped me just as the joys, the love the happiness and excitement of my life has.

I want to show my children that it’s better to work hard than have everything handed to you. I want them to truly appreciate life and love and the people in their lives. I want them to not take a second for granted.

I have been on my own in a sense since I was a kid. I was on the outside looking in a lot. I was a loner a drifter trying to find my way and where I fit in. I want meant to fit in I know now I was always different and that’s good.

I have so many facets to my personality and at times I am extremely shy other times like being in the center of the crowd. I still work on being overly critical of myself. I hope I am not that way with my children.

I always felt like I wasn’t measuring up to what my parents envisioned and wanted me to be my whole life. I realized I needed to stop worrying about making them happy with me and me just being happy with me.

It’s exhausting to try to please everyone I still have to check myself and make sure I am taking care of me and not caring so much about pleasing others. But when you grow up being the one that gets vented too by the adults and friends you tend to be filled with not just your stress but those around you.

I don’t have anyone that asks me how I am doing or what I need at least not on a regular basis. I need more light fun laughter in my life and I so try to find ways no matter how small each day to keep me sane.

I miss my great grandparents and my Nana so much they were always so comforting and loving and I wish they got to meet my children. My nana at least got to have time with my son but she passed right before my daughter was born.

I’ve been blessed by God to have the family I have I’ve learned from them in all sorts of ways throughout the years. I have always been positive even during very dark hard times I believe in love and the good in people.

I’ve loved a lot had my heart stomped on broken, shattered but it’s always proven to be strong and resilient and comes out stronger than ever .

I have always been a giver and sometimes you can feel that it’s all give and that your being taken for granted. But I am happy being a positive light and someone who tries best to show love give love and support and be kind.

Well I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! Wish you all a fabulous weekend!😊🧘‍♀️🙏🏡

Published by 40fitmom

My Name is Jennifer .I was born and raised in California.I am the proud mother of two incredible children Brandon and Savannah.I enjoy trying new things,Outdoor adventures,new recipes, and travel, just to name a few.I hope to encourage others to try new things! I strive to learn as much as possible. I am on a journey to be my best self. Working out more drinking half my body weight in water. Meditating and journaling to find inner peace. I am working on my self esteem and have lots of goals I’m working towards. I cherish my family and friends and never take a single moment for granted.

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