December 07, 2018

This week I’ve been fighting off a cold. Did manage to get in my Monday workout but missed rest of week unfortunately.

Had a full day Each day though and have been gearing up for Christmas. I got most of our Christmas cards mailed out today.

Took kids to Wild Lights at the Living Desert Zoo so much fun. I’ve been so ache and stressed and filed with anxiety lately.

Glad I’ve started to get Brandon’s Christmas items and I had bought all but one of Savannah’s right after Thanksgiving nought last one today.

Been able to get baking and bought more ingredients for some festive recipes. Made some delicious chili tonight for dinner but no baking since we went out to Wild Lights.

Brandon finished first trimester with B Honors. Right now he has all A’s accept for one class.

We had a couple days of rain and it was nice. We have family pictures set for this weekend and I think those will come out great !

I’m missing my bestie but keeping in touch by phone until her Basketball coaching ends in January.

I’ve been so short of breath lately think that’s a combo of congestion and anxiety. I’m gonna get out my essential oils tomorrow and see if I can finally kick both this cold and my stress induced anxiety.

I’m still hoping to get kids to Disney before Christmas πŸŽ„ I am hoping to get good rest tonight and this weekend which will help me energize.

I am yawning too much now so gonna cut this short I’m exhausted. Hope everyone has a great weekend ! πŸ˜˜πŸ‘πŸŽ„πŸ™


December 04, 2018

Feeling under the weather woke up around 3:30am can’t get back to sleep hot about 4 hours sleep will need some energy for my day.

Been so stressed always worried about money even more this time of year scared to spend. Ordered an appetizer while out with my friend at lunch yesterday just because of that. Didn’t want to order off regular menu.

I have so much to still get for Brandon he has three small items under the tree his sister has like the whole tree filled and she’s also got the outdoor playset we bought her.

I’m hoping I can get my broken nail repaired and get manicure soon. But I’m already trying to avoid groceries and just use what we have at home so the little bit of money can go to finish up some Christmas shopping.

My cousin got her first jolt on her own and I’d like to send a housewarming gift since I can’t make it so far out of town for her party.

I’d love to the kids to Disney every tine I see the money taken from my card it bums me out we haven’t been especially how for holiday decor.

I get hit with two separate payments adding up to over $200 a month and we definitely aren’t going every month.

I’ve been a pass holder for over 12 years and the prices keep going up more blackout dates more crowds even on weekdays.

I told my husband I’m done once these ones expire in the summer . At least for awhile just will do one or two trips with kids on holiday and Birthday.

I’m sad we can’t go more I love Disneyland. I hope I get my little one to Santa’s Village this season!

Didn’t find my mom Anything yesterday to get from kids. Already have dads gift from kids and gift from Jeff and I.

I’ve always been one to prefer the basics and I don’t really primp I don’t like a lot of makeup etc . Like my house casual and cozy.

I know because I’ve always been on a strict budget and had hard times financially both growing up and as an adult that in turn my kids will not take spending lightly.

My son sometimes I wish didn’t worry because now that he’s taller than my husband and I and over 100 pounds it pains me when he orders something like his sister whose three instead of nice steak off larger menu like when I took kids out.

When I took Brandon to Disney did his Birthday since I wasn’t on the trip to universal with his Dad and friends. He was worried about what snacks costed me and he’s at the age where the food is all we’re getting he doesn’t want toys or clothes etc at Disney.

I’m always happy for those I’ve seen living financially abundant and very rarely do I envy it.

But it would be nice to know for even a day how it feels to truly be able to eat wherever you want spend whatever it costs for item for kids or myself without even bothering to look at price.

I see where not only an adult but their youngsters sometimes as young as my three year old have not one but literally every color of the rainbow of bags that are well beyond my means.

My daughter isn’t missing anything and I prefer even though we’re not fancy that we are ourselves I know even if I was on Forbes I will never be like those who can be perfectly put together every moment and perfect outfits as if they are a fancy Barbie.

I do love to see it and I’m in awe of the ladies who are not pretending they really are that put together and fancy, stylish classy.

But I will always be a casual girl who yes occasionally plays dress up for a special event and always feels extra special at those moments.

There are some things that I would love to splurge on. But it’s all in due time. I have been wanting a new car for awhile but obviously not only need something as my mom car but that I absolutely love.

Balancing food is driving me crazy 😜 I want to be cooking new meals new recipes trying new ideas and making cool sweet treats I find on Pinterest.

But I also have been more than ten pounds over my goal weight since my daughter was born. Now even though I was under 120 before my weight gain I’d be happy even at 125 but have been low to mid 130s since 2015. Lowest I weighed since has been just before I started Pure Barre I was 131 I’ve actually gained weight but a lot has been muscle.

I hate my stomach it makes me feel pretty unattractive and frustrated. But clearly I don’t starve myself I still have carbs couldn’t imagine ever taking them out of the equation.

I want to gain more flexibility again my daughter loves dance and I wish I could do all that I could in my youth.

I’ve been praying more and reading each day. It always help bring me peace and boost my mood. I just feel like I pull away from my friends and from social situations when money is involved.

Last year we went to our sons school Gala and I felt like a fish out of water I had anxiety seeing all those around me spending money way more than I could be comfortable on during auction bids.

Seeing so many gowns and designer bags it was overwhelming. My dear friend is having people give money and sign card for our pure barre owner whose out sick in five Ruth signing card but even putting ten dollars in seems like a lot for me and I need to take out money from atm and then buy diverging to have change it’s made me dread going to workout today so I’m going to bring money but I don’t think I will even workout.

I’ve been missing doing my Peloton workouts. So want to get back to doing those.

I’d love to get rid of my stubborn belly fat and continue to build lean muscle.

I’m hoping the school orders we placed at Savannah’s school come in and come home with her today or by Friday.

We’ve said for years we’d get items to complete our wedding china set since we host all holidays. We’ve done good it’s like only chargers and champagne flutes and serving utensils we really need.

But even our everyday flatware is a mix we don’t have matching set and it drives me crazy been wanting to get our love story set and it’s been sold out since we waited until November to start looking to buy it .

When we finally get it I will be thrilled and we can use it everyday and finally have matching forks and spoons for everyone.

Savannah is in underwear all the time no school accidents but she still refuses to poop on potty she seriously at three still poops her pants or in bath. Then apologizes and says she needs to do it on potty.

I am at my wits end really don’t know what else I can do to speed this along. I was thrilled to be done with all that with Brandon and he was set before his second birthday.

I can at least say even though I keep getting four hours or less sleep ever since getting B 12 shot it’s helping my energy.

I just want to enjoy next few weeks leading up to Christmas instead I’ve been so anxious stressed unable to sleep stressed about money issues I don’t want to avoid getting dog groomed, getting car washed for way too long all because it’s expensive.

I want to get to a place where I don’t have anxiety each week about having money for groceries, dry cleaning and other Burbank stuff .

I don’t want to decline Birthday Party invites because money for gift is not in budget. I watched “Pretty Woman” recently and during the shopping spree I thought how nice I’d love to feel like that even when shopping at Target that just get whatever you want no stress of cost.

I could live in jeans, leggings and pjs but I would absolutely love one overpriced bag it’s on my wish list and hopefully one day I will get it. I also do dream of overpriced car. I miss my sapphire ring I have always had a sapphire ring since I got my first from my Nana at 11 years old.

When I finally had a really nice one a beautiful three deep blue genuine sapphires and surrounded by diamonds.

If got stolen with all my other jewelry that was not on my person five years ago when my house was broken into .

I’ve never replaced it but I have been longing to ever since. Everywhere I look that’s in my budget is lab created I want the same high quality genuine blue almost black sapphire stones. It’s my birth stone and I really am sad not having one anymore I’m 39 and had always had my birthstone ring on since I was 11 so being with out one has left a sentimental void to fill.

I felt bad for a friend of mine who everyone was commenting about something she said the other day. I felt like they were being harsh and I have seen her be very caring and giving.

So the fact she said she doesn’t buy gifts doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad she doesn’t really have any family she’s close with so I think that’s what she meant when she told them she doesn’t buy gifts.

I wasn’t there just heard it when scribe was taking about it to me. But she brought Savannah a gift for her Birthday. She just a week ago picked me up some turkey sausage to try and some sweet smelling hand soap just because. Which was so sweet so I hope people can be less critical.

We all have our issues and we all have things going on in our lives and some we just don’t share. I love all my dear friends but not all of them understand each other .

Well it’s now already 6 am my sons up it’s time to get ready and take kiddos to school soon.

Thanks for listening as I feel this post has been me venting. Hope everyone has a terrific day!

December 02, 2018

Today was a cozy Sunday we stayed in PJ’s most of the day I made us French Toast.

We decorated and played with kids. My husband got Savannah’s toy box put together and I helped her organize her room.

Later my husband and I got out for an early dinner date. Then came home to relax with our kids and enjoyed first night as a family in Christmas jammies.

I hope everyone had a great weekend ! I’m beat goodnight and God Bless πŸ˜˜πŸ™πŸ‘πŸŽ„β˜ƒοΈπŸ€—

December 01, 2018

It’s officially December which means I’ve got holiday music playing in our home and in my car.

I have started Elf on the shelf and have some fun new ideas. Baking everyday around here will be the new normal until Christmas.

Family Christmas Pajamas and got cocoa a nightly routine. Although every night will be me and kiddos and hubby will wear jammies on our pj picture night and Christmas Eve only.

Our tree is up and decorated just needs the star put on top by my hubby and his Star Trek ornaments added by him tomorrow.

I made two kinds of cookies tonight and enjoyed Christmas movies with the kids. My son Brandon has lost his voice again and is under the weather and I felt under the weather today too so we had soup and tea and lots of rest and lounged in pjs.

My best friend and her daughter Haylee came over for a visit which was so nice have missed them so much.

My son enjoyed his friends Birthday Party Saturday night and poor Savannah was feeling constipated and in pain so I took care of her rubbed her belly gave her fluids and fiber and thankfully this morning she got relief.

My husband went to the parent teacher mixer for Savannah’s school since me and Brandon were under weather it was best for me to stay home with kiddos.

Looking forward to taking kids to Wild Lights at the Living Desert this month and trying to get Savannah up to Santa’s Village. I’d love to do a Disney trip since this will be last year we have season passes for awhile so I’m hoping we figure it out.

I want to have a get together with our friends at least a small group before Christmas.

I’m so happy Brandon made Honors again on his report card and he is keeping up a 4.0 in the new trimester as well so far. I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend πŸ™πŸ€—πŸ˜ŠπŸŽ„πŸ‘β˜ƒοΈ