April 27, 2020

Here we go now week 7 in quarantine. It’s hard to imagine what it will feel like in our world once outside life starts to open up again. We have been in this isolated new state for nearly two months now.

I know that being at home concentrating on the kids and our family more than ever before not being able to do anything outside of our house means we have been getting creative.

I’ve been looking in during this time more than ever. It’s good but as most people know looking in and looking at your life can also make you very overwhelmed very sad.

Like so many others this has meant spending our anniversary in quarantine. We also were spending Easter at home in quarantine instead of being on the Disney cruise we booked which would have been so amazing and our kids first cruise ever.

My son is graduating 8th grade but there won’t be a ceremony. Passion Play did not happen as we are in quarantine. His 8th grade dance won’t happen that was supposed to be this coming Friday there class trip to Disneyland as well as so much more.

My sons GPA was the highest it’s ever been and when we got his report card I was thrilled and proud. We haven’t been able to give him the grade money he worked his butt off for and that’s making me so sad especially knowing his grades are amazing again and when we get his final junior high report card which will end up being A honors I don’t know when we will be able to give him grade money for this as well as his last one.

I know he is patient I just want hard work rewarded. I have a lot of rules for him and he has a lot of chores which his friends don’t seem to have any. Also majority of kids he knows get allowance even without doing chores. So the fact that I don’t give him an allowance for chores not the basic ones but the larger ones is all because of financials. With him being an honor student he should be getting allowance money and grade reward money and I am hopeful that once this quarantine is over we can get that all handled.

The goal this week is to get my license renewal classes done once I get signed up. I’m looking forward to attending the live rise online I got the basic ticket. My little one loves playing with her brother and he always helps with her which is great but awhile back she broke his headset that he uses while gaming and it’s not working at all now for him.

Savannah has made me so proud while we have been home doing this quarantine she has been working on sight words and reading and she’s doing so great. She still does her Monday chapel from home each week. She has a great teacher who was actually her teacher last year not this year that sends us videos of her reading new books to Savannah each week sometime multiple.

Savannah has been dying to go in our pool and now we’re finally in triple digit weather so the pool should be warming up enough to go in. Savannah has been helping around the house little chores tidying up her stuff more. I’m so proud of her. She’s been so cute doing FaceTime chats with her friends while we are social distancing.

Mothers Day is coming up and it will be the first year I’m not getting a beautiful handmade gift from my children as school is not in session. I’m hoping that we are not in quarantine during Savannah’s Birthday.

I’ve got my son set up with a virtual meeting with his high school counselor to get his freshman schedule figured out. He’s growing up so quickly. So is my little one I am trying to savor every moment with them. I am so sad when we have time apart now as I know that time is slipping away.

I turn 41 this year and I more than ever want to push for my dreams and for growth. I do still want to put my children and family first especially for us to have quality family time all of us together trips and adventures and game nights and lots of fun activities to watch Savannah try and get better at each class. So excited to watch my son play high school football and basketball the next four years.

I haven’t asked how I’m doing what I need what I want in so long. I enjoyed Rise Toronto so much but it definitely brought out another of emotions. It was not easy it was hard to dive in face a lot of self esteem issues and fear based issues. It was also so uplifting and I need more of that in my life.

I wish more than anything that I could afford to go to therapy. I know that until I can work through theses issues and feel whole on my own feel high self esteem and love for myself again. Until then I cannot work on relationships outside myself. I am in the pre menopause stages have been for quite awhile my hormones have reeked havoc on my body and emotions. When you don’t feel beautiful and comfortable in your own skin. It’s pretty impossible to want to be intimate plus my sex drive has complete gone. I’m hoping it will come back to normal once my hormones get under control.

I am so used to doing for others making others comfortable catering to them helping them as they reach for their dreams. It’s time for me to reach for mine and have those I care most about help me and cheer me on as I work towards these dreams.

I don’t want to live my life half dead and I know living while suppressing my dreams and being scared to go for it or just casting them aside to make others feel more comfortable I am not living. When you give up your dream you die.

I feel in some ways the woman I once was is lost. I am trying to dig deep and get her back but a stronger version. I feel like I am wild animal who was caged and tamed and my wings were clipped and have lost my spirit and dreams. So many people allow others or even themselves clip their wings cage them to tame their wild. What’s sad is when this person has so much fear that even when they see everything they are meant for they stay in the cage even when it’s not locked.

I have been organizing our home and deep cleaning every area. I’ve been reading as much as possible. I know that I want to be around more people that are achievers, hustlers, dreamers, who are constantly learning and growing. I need to be around positive people. Negative people suck the life out of you and I cannot have them around me especially now while I am working on myself to be more positive more productive and have belief in myself and my dreams. I have been careful of what I’m taking in on social media as well I don’t want anything that will bring me down I just want positivity.

This year has already taken loved ones away I’ve lost two aunts but I know they are my guardian angels now watching over us all now. I don’t want to keep myself small anymore. I don’t want to to settle. Not in any aspect of my life it’s time for me to start fully living again 40 is way too young to give up and throw in the towel. So I am going to get up and fight to become whole to strive for my dreams and for all my relationships to be the best they can be.

I hope everyone has been doing good during this quarantine life. I appreciate you more than you will ever know. Thank you for taking the moment to read my thoughts. 🤗🙏🏡

Easter April 12, 2020

Well today was different having Easter in Quarantine. We were able to at least pick up some breakfast treats at Drive thru we got Starbucks drinks and Krispy Kreme donuts.

The kids still got Easter Baskets this year and Savannah got to hunt for Easter Eggs that we decorated yesterday.

We enjoyed some time outdoors as the weather was nice and thankfully we have a nice backyard set up. Still way too cold for swimming so my little one was disappointed.

We watched Trolls World Tour again since it’s just a rental wanted to get our moneys worth. We watched our Easter Mass on UTUbE this morning which was different but we are getting used to watching it like this. Tomorrow will be week five in Quarantine.

Heaven gained a new angel this morning. My Wonderful Aunt Sheila passed and will be terribly missed by me all her siblings including my Dad. My life was definitely better for having her in it and I have the best memories of trips to see her from my childhood as a young adult.

I hope everyone enjoyed Today I know some are in quarantine alone and others with family. I also deeply appreciate those essential workers who are working extra hard for everyone right now. I know I get bored and am sick of quarantine but I am also deeply lucky to be at home with my kids and be healthy. I am so tired 😴 goodnight 💤

Quarantine Life April 10

So here we are four weeks of quarantine so far. Life has definitely changed. Kids have been distance learning my sons school has kept him super busy with work everyday. My daughters school isn’t doing anything but she’s four and at least gets church videos once a week and her old teacher from last year is sending her videos each week reading her books Which is so sweet.

I’ve been working on her reading and learning each day and trying to make sure she still has plenty of fun. She definitely misses her friends and school. She’s been FaceTiming with friends and sending each other videos.

My son is keeping in touch with his friends and definitely misses them too. I’m bummed that the 8th graders did not get to put on the Passion Play they worked so hard on. I’m bummed they are missing out on all the fun graduation things last dance and Disneyland trip.

But I know it’s not as bad as my nephew and all other kids who are missing high school graduation and prom this year. They are all handling it so well though.

We are now wearing the face masks when we are outside in public which isn’t very often. I only do drive up for groceries when needed and we occasionally go through the Starbucks drive thru to get a treat and get out of house.

We’ve had a lot of rain this week. We had all the storms and earthquakes and it’s all been a lot. We’ve kept our spirits up and concentrated on the good what we are so grateful for. Today and this weekend being at home instead of at church and instead of family gatherings is so different. We actually were supposed to fly out this morning and take our kids on their first ever cruise a Disney cruise we were planning and excited for.

So we felt bummed today but we have each other and food and a roof over our head and our health so we are blessed. I will have the trip to look forward to when we get back to our new normal .

I hope that everyone is staying home and doing what they can to stay safe and comply and just find the joy during this time even when it’s hard. I am so grateful to all the essential workers out there.

Sorry I have not been on here in so long it’s just been an adjustment for me with all this and I wanted to be a good head space when I wrote. Hang in there and definitely keep thriving and growing and finding joy each day. Goodnight 😴🌙😘

March 21, 2020

Well my day to day life has changed now that we our quarantined and kids are doing school from home. My son has been so busy with school work all week doing more than while school was in session. I’m glad he’s enjoying his free time this weekend!

It’s hard to tell the difference between weekdays and weekends because we only get to be at home and we are getting bored. Today I was starting to feel down being stuck inside. But Hallmark movies have changed my mood. My son and one of his best friends have been FaceTiming daIly and working on a rap about their quarantine time.

My daughter is going a little stir crazy but I’m getting her outside for walks and playtime as much as possible. She is definitely trying to stay up later and yet she’s still up bright and early.

I’m doing my best to keep on a schedule even though we are at home. I’ve been thankful for my peloton. I’m able to keep working out and the app has great yoga and meditations that I enjoy doing as well.

Toronto Rise

All packed for Toronto Rise
Last school drop off before I catch my flight to Toronto ✈️
Had my Tea did my STJ and recorded a story book so my daughter could still have me with her during her bedtime routine while I’m gone.
Toronto here I come
Made it to my hotel Fairmont Royal York had a late dinner around 9:50pm
CN Tower as I’m on my way to Niagara Falls for the first time ever 🙌
My visit to Niagara Falls
Visited winery on way back from Niagara Falls tried Ice wine for the 1st time
Night before Rise conference Ice Skating at Nathan Phillips Square with some friends I met at early check in
Necessities from my VIP Swag bag other goodies not in photo.
These are from my first day at Rise let me tell you though when I went to bed the night before I was super anxious a ball of nerves met some nice gals had dinner with three of them but felt awful when I went to my hotel I was tired the meal was not great the conversation was but I felt like I wasn’t at the same place these women were and it was making me feel awful. So I only got about 2 hours of sleep and when I went downstairs to have breakfast at Reign which is a great restaurant I had a breakdown a panic attack and thought I wouldn’t make it to the event. But I pulled myself together and I went and I am so glad I did I had a great day! We had a great warm up thanks Chris Chandler. Rachel Hollis spoke to us in the morning and the afternoon. Jen Hatmaker was awesome if you haven’t heard of her look her up her books are amazing. We did Stand up for your Sister which was so powerful and something I won’t
ever ever forget. Brit Barron also known as “Beams” also talked to us and was so great love her. After Day 1 we had the VIP cocktail party at The Arcadian Loft. It was such a great event enjoyed the ladies as well and the food and having a glass of wine at the end of a long day. I was fortunate enough to meet and get photos with Chris Chandler and Dave Hollis. Who are both such positive and genuine and a pleasure to meet. I was bummed that I missed the chance to Meet Trent Shelton and get a photo with him. I was pretty tired headed back to my hotel had a snack at Pipers Pub before bed and went to bed to get some rest.
Day 2 of Rise included Rachel Hollis, Amy Porterfeild and Trent Shelton. I was able to connect with Shannon Hale. I got my goal getter pin and did a coaching testimonial. Was able to talk to Dave Hollis again and grab another photo. I really enjoyed all the speakers and Chris Chandler and Brad & the Divas really made our day extra fun and positive. It was a very long day Rachel Hollis really gives you her all and we had extra with her I think over and hour and a half. So for us VIP holders made our day long as we all wanted our tile after day 2 to meet and get photo with Rachel. She was well worth the wait. She is a true positive radiant light and she is genuine. It was my pleasure to meet her and see how down to earth she is.
Afterwards I got an Uber and headed to Benihana to enjoy a dinner met some great people at my table who were very fun and chatty. I was exhausted so went up stairs took a bath and made sure to get some good sleep.
Met Rachel Hollis what a sweetheart

Day 3 of Rise I think we were all getting tired but also still ready for all the fire 🔥 we knew was coming our way. I mean we had an amazing warm up we got to hear from Dave Hollis. We got information on the future of the Hollis company. We had Stacy Flowers speak to us and I am so bummed out I did not get to personally meet this woman because her talk was absolutely amazing. I was thrilled to hear Mally Roncal speak and lucky enough to meet her afterwards and she stayed for over an hour talking to everyone that wanted to meet her taking photos and hugging everyone. We had a full day and it was an amazing send off. Rachel also made sure that we had an awesome finale so we had a mini concert just for us before we were all done. I was so blessed to go to this event and meet all the wonderful people I met. Hear from the amazing speakers. After Day 3 I went back to my hotel to unwind take a bath order in a delicious salad and some rosemary lemon fries from room service while getting ready for our roaring 20’s party. The party was great met some other great women especially Sara we hung out most of the evening and after that I was so exhausted I knew I’d be up at 5am to catch my flight and needed some sleep.

Mally Roncal ❤️ her
Blessed to have this amazing crew of people making out Rise Event the best ever!

Roaring 20’s Party at The Arcadian
Bye Toronto Palm Desert here I come

Can you tell from the above morning flight photo. How sleep deprived I was omg when I got home I missed my kids so much I just kept going hugged them squeezed them took them to lunch and to the mall to get my son some clothes and Savannah two dresses and some books to read together. I was. Zombie though even Monday I felt only half alive I was trying to get my energy back. But I have taken so much away from my Rise weekend and I look forward to going to another Rise.

Before bed looked though my Rise Books also completed my journal for day and went over what I wrote in my STJ earlier that day

March 01st 2020

Well today is March 1st I’ve enjoyed our busy week. We enjoyed all kinds of fun activities with the kids and went to Savannah’s school gala last night.

We watched movies had great meals out as a family. I got everything done errand wise that I could before my trip. I’m excited but nervous. Don’t want to forget anything. Want to make sure I have everything in order. Want to enjoy going solo and be able to connect to lots of awesome women at the conference.

Tomorrow is my last day and night at home last day to prepare for my trip. I need a good nights 💤 😴 💤 sleep 😴. Hope everyone had a fagrastic February and weekend cheers to March 🙌

February 26, 2020

Celebrating the life of my Aunt Janne 💛

On Saturday February 22 we celebrated the life of my strong loving independent Aunt Janne she lost her battle with Breast Cancer and will forever be missed but always in our hearts .

Picture of me and my Aunt Janne love and miss her so much 💛

We also had the Sacred Heart 2020 Gala the evening after celebration of life of my Aunt Janne. We also took Savannah to her morning gymnastics class before going to the service. It was a busy day.

Savannah

Kiddos enjoying arcade

This past week I’ve had so much going on with family in from out of state for my Aunts service. I won another one on one challenge on peloton. Got in some great Pure Barre workouts. Took the kids to see Call of The Wild great movie 🍿. Gearing up for my trip to Toronto next week🙌 I’ve started packing choosing outfits and such. I am still working on many goals and hope that after my trip I will have stronger motivation as well as confine eve in myself. I hope everyone has had a great week so far! Talk to you soon have a goodnight 🌙😘💤

February 19, 2020

My sweet girl made this at school yesterday I absolutely love it.
Pictures of my daughter Savannah and my son Brandon. Yesterday Savannah had her appointment at Sacred Heart to test out for Kindergarten. Then I took her to her pre school and she had a great day! I went to get information as well from the high school for my son. He will be a freshman this fall . So proud of both my children I am so blessed. Savannah’s scholastic books came in and she also got a new book in her book club.
I made chili and corn bread muffins for us for dinner . I got in a pure empower class last night. I also got in pure barre classes Sunday and Monday morning.
Beautiful day at the park Savannah had a great day at the park she’s so lucky she has such a awesome brother who is kind and loves to play with her.
My sweet girl so proud to be wearing her big brothers cap.
Brandon & Savannah


My Boy

Savannah
Playtime
Valentines School picnic ❤️
Good times with kids at movies for Valentines
Me and my Bestie
Valentine’s pic with my girl ❤️
Happy Valentines Savannah
Happy Valentines Brandon

We enjoyed our valentines weekend I enjoyed having a three day weekend with my kiddos I won another one on one peloton challenge. Took the kids out for some lunches and we played a lot outside watched some movies and played games. The weather is getting warmer again which is nice. Looking forward to my women’s conference in March.

Not looking forward to my aunts funeral this weekend. It’s been making me sad this week. We also have the Sacred heart gala this Saturday and next weekend we have The Academy’s Gala. I am needing to get my wardrobe planned for my trip. I hope everyone is having a great week! 😊🏡🙏❤️

February 10, 2020

So we had a good weekend B was still sick Friday but Savannah went to school and enjoyed soccer. When I picked her up we got a sundae to split.

We came home and chilled out together had dinner and read some books before bed.

Saturday we got up and went to Gymnastics then got some Starbucks afterwards. I baked some cookies and Brownies.

That night made us some dinner and we watched The Blindside I hadn’t seen that movie in a long time and my son had never seen it.

Sunday we got up early had breakfast. I did Sunday’s with love on peloton. Then the Pink ride boocrew planned to do on demand. Mediation. Took kids for lunch. Savannah took a nap after lunch so o got some reading done.

We played frozen monopoly while I was making dinner and read a story to Savannah before bed. I was pretty tired last night felt under the weather.

Today we got up and took my son Brandon to school. Savannah was off so we went home hung out colored and played. Later on we went to Starbucks after I got in a 20 minute peloton ride.

We played some more we wrote out all her valentines cards for her class. I made lunch and we watched leap frog letter factory and word factory before her nap.

I worked on my February coaching while she napped today. Then we started getting house together before picking up Brandon from tutoring.

Once I got kids settled and dinner set for them. I got dressed and did my Pure Barre workout. had a light dinner afterwards. Then I got in peloton and did one more ride. One more stretch and another mediation.

Then tucked Savannah in bed and took my bath and now I am so ready to get some sleep 😴 hope everyone enjoyed their weekend !

February 06, 2020

So I’ve had a lot going on. I did the 75 minute intensive class last week on Wednesday night. I have been steadily working out doing Pure Barre and Peloton daily.

We got the kids passports ordered and I’m looking forward to those coming in soon. Savannah enjoyed another week of Music class and Soccer as well as Gymnastics. We went to the park and it was so nice and sunny over the weekend.

This week I hit 200 peloton cycling rides and I am happy about that. Savannah and I watched Arctic Dogs. My son got sick and is still under the weather I’ve been taking care of him trying to nurse him back to health since Tuesday.

He got his braces off yesterday which was exciting but since he was sick it was a bummer and rough on him. I have been feeling blah myself today but did get in two workouts.

I am waiting for school work to be ready for pickup at Brandon’s school and will head over and get that for him. I’ve been doing another peloton challenge I will know tomorrow who won.

Savannah enjoyed her book club after school on Tuesday and she’s excited to get some books from scholastic ordered this week.

I hate that I am unable to magically making Brandon feel better it’s the worst feeling in the world as a parent when your kid is hurting and you can’t make it instantly better.

I also began the second month of life coaching this week. So far it’s great taking a dive inward and needing to be honest with myself so I make some real progress.

I’m looking forward to going to Rise next month. I have a jacket set to wear. I’d like to get the blush color away bag in medium with the packing cubes. I need to book ride to and from the airport for Toronto.

I still need to plan outfits and what I am packing. I also want to plan a little something for Valentines Day for me and kiddos to celebrate the evening.

I am looking forward to the weekend and I am hoping that it is warm and sunny. I won’t be able to do pure barre Sunday I had myself booked for the nighttime class but then I was told unless you bring a guy with you your not welcome for this one. We have had these once or twice a year past three years and this has never been the case.

Disappointed needed the workout then since I will miss Monday’s class since my little one is off school. I am hoping to do death by tens on Sunday on Peloton. That will be an awesome workout.

I started a new book this week and hope to finish by this Sunday. I am going to try to get in another workout if I have gone after picking up Brandon’s school work.

I hope everyone is having a great week! 😊🤗🙏❤️